my favourite things/ a tender heart

baby Ema is going home

home to four bubbly sisters
a joyous mom
and a dad

I know David

I know his tender heart
not like God does
but
I know it

It didn't surprise me
to hear Molly's words
but it made me proud
and I am not his mom

I have watched David grow
I watched him wax strong
in body
and in spirit
but always tender

so Molly's words
brought glad tears from my heart

five little girls
and a mama
and a papa

they
will wax strong
in body
and in spirit

a family of seven
a quiver full
or filling
as God wishes

a joyous quiver
hearts set on Thanksgiving
even in the not so easy
because they know
the Giver of good gifts

the Giver of each breath

the Giver of today

God loves
a tender heart

my favourite things

 

my favourite things / words of life

a word
caught
in the wind
finding its way
from
one heart
to heal
another

sent with hesitation
fear of rejection
of being
misunderstood

love sends it out
anyway
love cannot
keep it bound

so it is sent
on angel wings

with the breath of hope
and trust in the One
who holds all our tears
and all our prayers
and knows our longings
and all our fears
and our every dream
that His love
might
fill
to overflowing

for this is how God gives

six baskets of bread left over

the best wine
after the ordinary was gone

nets too heavy
to hold all the fish

He who fills our cup to overflowing
I will trust Him
He who feeds the multitudes
I will hope in Him
He who calms the storms
I will flee to Him
He who speaks the Word
and demons flee
I will make my refuge in Him
He who could have called 
the host of heaven's angels
I will sit at His feet

for
He gives
and gives
takes all our shame
and heals from Death's reward

I catch His prayer
in the quiet
of my heart

that we be kept from the evil of the world

that we be made holy by His Truth

that we be made one with
the One
love like the One

Jesus and the Father
and us

One

and so
I send out
a prayer from my heart
and breathe a sigh
and smile

God hears
and is the giver of life
the healer
the lover
the Holy One

may He send His Word
and heal

Words of Life

my favourite things

a miracle day/my favourite things

today was a miracle day
nothing new
as every day is too

but today I brushed away the fear
and took the three hounds
and myself riding Mitzu
and headed up our snowy trail
into the forest
alone

the snow brushed my feet
on either side of my pony
it was deep
and white
and pure as refiner's gold
brilliant

we went long on the trail
my pony nervous at first
as was I

but then the moment took over
when all fear was gone
and my eyes were opened
to the glory around

The sun kissed the tree tops golden
the winter blanket lay unrumpled
all life asleep but us
Mitzu breaking through the snow trail
of two days ago
now past her belly
the hounds trailing close behind
tongues lolling
and spirits high

it was like this when I was twelve
and almost dying

I saw the host of heaven come for me
they were on a thick cloud of snow
powdery and bright
the Refiner's fire
purified and whole
the multitude
as the sand of the sea shores
so many
and the One before all the others
glistening in His Beauty
His Holiness lighting the others
and drawing me
pulling me
calling me
come

I looked at my dad
who all night had sat by my side
a silent prayer in his eyes
and told him
It is God
He is coming to take me now
He is beautiful
and I am happy to go

my eyes joined the sadness of his eyes
and heard the silence of his prayer
and I knew
I must stay

disappointed but knowing
I looked back on the vision
that had held me captive and set my heart to soaring
and He understood
and slowly
ever so slowly
the vision softened and
only my dad and I were left
and the answer from His heart

he had laughed when I'd told him God had pajamas like mine
when he saw I was leaving he had asked what God looked like

I had a nighty
They all had flowing robes
and steads whiter than snow
as they rode on the wings of the wind
I wish he could have seen their glory

drawing nearer
calling me
heart to heart
no words
just the drawing
the beauty
the longing

If only he could have seen how His gown sparkled
mine flannel
His Light
and Glory
Grace coming to claim what was His
and in Mercy
leaving me a while longer
to be joy to this old papa
who poured out his every love for me
and needed still
his young girl's hand in his
and needed still to hear her laughter
and see her smile
and dance through each day

a gift

this life

and each day
a miracle day

my favouite things

crunch/ my favourite things

it has been three weeks
wired shut
milkshakes
purees
blended thin and smooth

it is alright
really
I enjoy all the flavours
I have made wonderful puree soups
the fruit and yoghurt are to die for

but today
I went out on a limb

I craved... crunch

not carrot crunch
or apple crunch

but cheezie crunch

I don't like just any cheezie
it has to be crisp and without a hint of staleness

Eduardo likes sales
and the cheezies he buys on sale
are ALWAYS stale

but if you can believe it

today I went into the cupboard
and took down a bag
of his unopened truly cheese sticks

I squished a cheezie between my lips and my wired teeth
squashed it gently and sucked until I could taste that wonderful stale taste

the first two seconds were awesome
then the flavour was gone so I squashed a second one next to it

two more seconds of pleasure
then I couldn't blow air or suck juice

I was gooped

I looked in the mirror and had to laugh
I was good and gooped!

that  is not a good thing when your mouth
is wired shut

I squirted the syringe
brushed my teeth
swished and swashed
all to no avail

I was gooped

an hour later
now I feel half clean
it will take all day
to make air pass through the spaces
in my teeth again

I'm still dreaming of cheezies
and pizza
and apple pie
and quishe
salad
an apple
a cheese and cracker

I think I will wait the three weeks though

the countdown is on for

crunch!

my favourite things

my foot warmers / my favourite things

I was sitting at the computer
Bethany had sent a message from the airport

"hugs to her puppy"

I had to laugh
as Blue dog was stuck between my feet
my foot warmer
a little wigglier than usual
but soft
and oh so warm

I wrote Bethany how good the puppies had been
how happy to see me home again
how Saphira had greeted me then charged straightway
down to the basement to find her mistress
who was flying high on her way to Afrika

to Saphira's homeland

I was pleased Saphira had settled
after checking out
all the dog dishes and
checking out any fallen crumbs
it was siesta time
for the dear canines
and the sweet feline
was up on the kennel
also asleep

wondering why my foot warmer was so wiggly
I looked to see that it wasn't Blue dog at all
but Saphira!
She was snuggling as close to my feet as she could get

later
she discovered the cat's favourite place over the heat vent
and my foot warmer disappeared
and took on the likeness of Oliver

I am certain I heard purring

and I am sure it was the Afrikan hound
dreaming of Afrikan sun and
lying with her Bethany

puppy dreams

my foot warmers
my favouite things

little birthdays/ my favourite things

a candle dropped out of Bethany's suitcase this morning
she hadn't noticed
but I had stuck it in
thinking of my little grandboy
a year old today and to be celebrated

the big suitcase was already around the turnstye
and you can't put wax in your carry on luggage
such a little candle
but it had to come back home with me
as did the goat cheese

we were nine pounds over the 50
so right then and there we opened her up and
started taking out books and manna bears

they gave us a bag to put them in
and Bethany carried them in hand

she would have lots of children's books to read
on her long journey
it will keep her young
to see through the eyes of a child

I cried long and hard
as I told her all the things to say to my three babas
my heart was already going with her
just this ol' body had to stay
so it wept just a little
or maybe more

I wasn't even ashamed
how can one be ashamed of love

for big kids
and little girls
and a little birthday boy

Their heart is wrapped in mine
there is no escape
and I want to be held captive
forever

I can see their bright smiles
and hear their precious giggles
my laughter is wrapped in theirs
and when Bethany delivers a suitcase of love
from us all
my heart will sit there and be filled
with all the joy
of
little
birthdays

my favouite things

a moon ring/my favourite things

my chickens needed food
and Eduardo was still up

I put on my winter coat and boots
grabbed my bucket of pellets
for my feathered friends
ducks and hens
and went out into the night
a little chill at -20C

Eduardo put on his coat
and headed out to grab one more load
of wood for the furnace

usually I walk alone
discover the beauty alone
sigh and breath thanks
to my Maker alone

tonight though I had to go back
and bring Eduardo out to the field

he is usually not game
but tonight he took my hand
and we traced over my tracks in the snow

The ring around the Moon was enormous
I didn't have to say a thing
I just watched him look up and sigh
and exclaim amazement
the rays came from the South
and stretched to the North
making an arc around the brilliant Moon

we didn't tire
but watched and watched

as we walked home
arm in arm
content to have shared
these moments
a gift from our Saviour
Who delights in astounding us
a huge star fell before us
its flame as large as the Moon
just seconds later it burned itself out
over our neighbours' field

we walked home amazed
astonished
astounded
reveling in the small token
from our Fathers big basket of blessings
something just fit for these kids of the King

He says,
you should have been there
when We put it all together...
now "that"was astounding...
but this was a little gift all the same
to keep you in wonder
to keep you in awe

I am so glad my chickens needed food
and my Eduardo was still up
wouldn't have missed it
for anything

a moon ring

my favourite things