my favourite things / it's her freckles

It's her freckles I remember the most
soft in colour
blended almost as one
and some so small and close
they seem like the Milky Way at night

tonight was one of those nights
I remembered her

always
with the freckles
come the smiles
and for some reason I see her
with her first husband
standing each
one foot on
one foot off
on their tandom bicycle
in the sand
at the beach
in the sun
a turban on his head
and a smile
so big
I should know him
but I wasn't even born when
he died so quickly
it made my mom bitter
against God
and sometimes
everyone

my mom
a beauty
dark auburn red curls
long and bouncy to her shoulders
her eyes wide like a movie star she loved
her body gently volumnous
and strong in her
old hockey player fashion
and still such
a lady

she married my dad
after my real mom died

the one who adopted me
and loved having a little girl
and her big brother
and poured out all her heart on us

these freckles were new
and came with her laughter
the rest I forgave her for
because I know she hurt
and couldn't get rid of the pain

how does a girl of eight know this

it has been so many years
and now tonight
with the Milky Way
so thick against the black sky
I smile remembering her freckles
how the sun would catch them
and juggle them across her arms
on a summer's day
and like the sparkle
of the falling star in the east
brilliant in its last flame
her soft eyes would sparkle fun
and all would be well with the world

on the good days

I forgive her
for the others

like the falling stars
glimmering across the horizon
then gone
I miss her
all of her
the "just call me"
M.O.T.H.E.R.
when she was brand new to us
and how a summer later
I shouted "MOM"!
and almost swallowed my tongue
at the surprise
and that it actually felt good

to say Mom
again

the stars were so many tonight
the Big Dipper sat balanced
above the Christmas tree at the horses
the tall one we tied a sack around
so that the horses wouldn't get pitchy
and then it died 
the string too tight
so it stands tall like my little
Christmas trees in March
the needles gone
but the memory still strong

the light from the goat stall
illuminates the frill of tiny icicles
along the eaves
white against the night sky
created all in just one day
this sculpted beauty

I turn out the light
and again
all I see are her freckles
and a smile
the stars so wide
against the night sky

we sit
reading books together silently
in the stream of sunshine
in the afternoon
before supper
I sit
watching her play solitare
I watch her
paint and polish her nails
I watch as she
reads the paper
and works her crossword
puzzle

tonight
the sky is full of words
like a crossword puzzle
and the emotions they bring
and the beauty they can hold
should we choose

it is always a choice
this lavishing of love
on those around us

My moms always had their special days
those are the ones I will remember

family puzzles at Christmastime
Twister... all of us tangled in love
on a piece of dotted plastic
tangled in wonderful laughter
mom taking these two young kids
to a Beatle's concert
some things can never be forgotten
I still see Ringo Starr
hammering out on those drums
the people screeching
adreneline flowing free
everywhere
old mothers
screaming
kids fascinated
at how the old ones
leap up and down and grow hoarse
full of screaming
us smiling
and remembering
"I love you ya ya ya"
the lights blinking
like the stars tonight

summer creek crawling
and picnics
so much family
it must have gone
way back to Adam...
watermelons
salmon
whipped creme play fights
frisbees and balls
grass
water
sunshine
forgiveness
pure joy

I stopped at the house and put out the lights
went back out to see the night
one last time
one last mom hug
and dad hug
and see you soon hug
a thank you Jesus hug
lifted prayers and hugs for my beloveds
then a turn back into the house

home fires going
cat waiting to curl up
and purr
as I remember
Milky Ways
freckles
and smiles

my favourite things

my favourite things / sunrays drips daffodils

before
I even look their way
I smell them

It begins
in a mellow fashion
unassuming
waiting to be invited in
for chai tea and a chat perhaps
by the time my lungs are filled
I am drunken
as a hive of bees
on a
prosperous
summer's
day

it is only then
that my eyes catch
their sunshiny brightness
as they sit joyously
on my window sill 

golden sunrays
of the afternoon
pulling their daffodil heads around
to witness its setting through
the sparkling forest
alive with glistening
drips of melting snow
casting
crowns of glory
before their
Maker





Even if these don't praise me
Jesus had said of the crowds
as they lay palm branches down
before Him

this King of glory
riding on a donkey

even as
He entered Jerusalem
This Only Begotten of the Father
This Balm of Gilead
This Rose of Sharon
This Lily of the Valley
This Royal Lion of the Tribe of Judah
choosing instead to become
The Lamb of God

doing the will of His Father

Even then...
He said

If these people do not praise Me
these rocks and hills
would rise up
to give Me glory

how. could. we. ever. miss.
who He really is
If all around us
the created gives Him honour
how have we not always known Him
or always believed Him

for even one moment



how could we have ever doubted Him

all He has done goes before Him

the testimony of those who really saw Him

A thief who recognized Him at the last Hour
and said
Jesus
remember me when you come into Your Kingdom

the Centurian who watched Jesus die
and said
Surely
This was the Son of God

Lazarus
raised from the dead


Jairus' daughter healed

water made into wine

five thousand fed

and. always. the. overflowing.

Snow drips off my tin roof
the overflowing of melted snow
music on each dormer
each drip sparkles
as they pass me by
but I see them
my golden daffodils
see them
as they fall down
to waken this sleeping earth
all this created
shining for Him
and I notice all this
and realize how blessed I am...

to see His glory
to smell His glory
to hear His glory

I long to see Him face to face
and touch His glory
I want to put my hand in His
and tell Him... the scars were not in vain
I want to touch His pierced side
and tell Him how grateful I am
that it was He who bore all this pain
and sorrow because I could not have endured
I want to tell Him I am sorry
it had to be this way

This Bread of Life
broken for me
This cup
poured out for me

and so I eat
and I do drink
remembering
a Love so strong
that It gave up Its Glory in Heaven
to be a Ransome
for the broken
and lost
the imprisoned
the vile
and corrupt

us

His treasure

in need of Him
to become
sin
for
us

In heaven the roads are paved in gold

I know it is His brightenss
leading the sinner home


It is His brightness
coming for his bride

so much here
reminds me of His coming

I want to be ready
I. want. to. see. Him.

sunrays
drips
daffodils

my favourite things

my favourite things/the snow falls softly

the snow falls softly
and I am mesmerized
on my ladder
high up
one fist tight the other stretched
reaching into the tall vastness
flakes falling
curving outward from the warmth of the barn
its currents setting it to dancing
my fingers open

keen to catch the softness
to feel it melt and become warmth
no distinction
from my flesh
both alive
melded together
as one

Danielle is on my heart
and lifted like this dance
the currents of God's love
bringing such beauty
all that love falling
our prayers reaching
fingers open
to catch a portion
of that falling grace
drifting and filling
the empty portions
of our reaching souls
our prayers prostrate
before our Maker
as He fills
our emptiness
with Him

this perfect love falling
this soft snow falling

my fears cast out
love holds no room
for fear

the snow falls softly
it is enough
each flake
a prayer
carried
by
Grace

my favourite things

my favourite things/ a new day

the sun
casting her warmth
shadows bursting with bright light
or is it
the brightness
casting off the darkness
all the forest growth
alive
vibrant
with the fire
of the morning

the Son
casting His warmth
shadows dispelled
His brightness
casting
out the darkness
our lives
alive
vibrant
with the fire
of His dawning

morning
has
broken

a new day

my favourite things

my favourite things/ God sees things so differently

I did not desire him
he preferred to be alone
wallow in the mire of depression
sink deep in his own thoughts
think how he could pay back
he would find their evil
expose it

In this mood
I did not desire him

I tried


I offered encouragement
God was bigger
would find a way
would bring us through

He always has
He always will

I tried to wrap my arms around him
I tried to find his thoughts
I tried to find some soft spot
where he would give in
and smile
notice me
notice
I loved him
notice that he was not alone
that we go through this together

maybe he could even notice
I too might be sinking

he looks at me with eyes
that look right past me
I am not there
he hears lies
from the evil one
who whispers to him
though I try to speak louder
and tell him
remember
we have been here before
and ... God has a plan
wait on Him
It will be good
but he only sees past me
to some dark place
I do not want to go

and then
I remember

while I was yet stuck in the mire
sinking
while I was yet unlovely
and clothed in dirty rags

my dear Christ
pulled me out
and set my feet on
firm ground
He washed me
soothed my wounds
wrapped them
in the balm of Gilead
He healed
all these wounds
the ones
that take our hope away 
that leave us gazing
without a vision

my kinsman Redeemer
spoke words of hope to me

He looked at me
not through me

told me
I was
beloved

I was not very lovely
cloaked in my own robes
those of my own making
of sin's design
yet it was here
that Christ came to me
and desired me

What he saw I do not know
but suddenly I see my man differently
I see all that God wants him to be
when wrapped in His love

he doesn't change
but wrapped in God's love
he just looks different
I see who he really is
and somehow
I desire him
again

Our eyes need a God fix occasionally
that we would always see
how love's embrace
can set us free

I am so glad that
God sees things so differently
and teaches us
to see

my favourite things

---------------------------
my dear friend Dawn Blanchard shared this with me and it confirms what God showed my heart.
 http://youtu.be/F4DK7arkztw

my favourite things/ this fine snow hanging

wedding lace
draped down
this fine snow hanging

shaped over the eaves
like a maiden

prepared
as a bride
her gown
holy
her
clothed
in His righteousness
radiant
pure
in His love

The midnight hour
brought this celebration
Aurora Borealis
the glory soft faded
humble in the Eastern sky
then awakened into the night
stretched high
a thousand green skylights
searching the stars
for the One
brighter than
any other
the One fit for the bride
as she waits
soft in the light
of the moon
her countenance
warm glowing
waiting

whatsoever
is lovely

think on these things

this fine snow hanging
lacy
pure
lovely

my favourite things

my favourite things/ old moon new moon

a day can change so quickly
I see it best by the night sky

our old moon lay waning
a short time ago
a cresent sliver
tilted
emptying itself
then simply gone
I was enjoying God's glory
doing my usual counting
of His endless stars
seeing how far I must count
before my heart
was too full

I never count far
before my praises to Him
replace my 1-2-3's
and they become endless
these praises
to Him

my heart
becomes filled
and with the filling
becomes lighter

not sure how that can be
but it is so

now time has become
tilted in the night sky
the new moon
a cresent glowing
the sliver growing
sits cupped to hold

God's glory

It took me over fifty years
to see the difference in the
old and the new
I somehow feel
like angel dust has enlightened me
given this new joy
to see the difference

perhaps others have known it all along

for me this newness
is a simple joy
and a smile
from the One
who walks with me
and makes the blessing
spill out

I am there to catch it

the old moon
and the new

my favourite things