my favourite things/ outside

I should be on my way
outside

it is my last run of the day
the night hour
the opposite of the morning run
when the sun creeps up and warms the frosty mornings
Autumn set in
preparing the way for winter
the northeast wind cold
biting
but the sun giving hope
like the Son gives hope
on the cold in the heart days
when a warmth is needed on the inside
to set the rumblings aright
and to fix the night of unrest...

He wants His beloved to rest

waking on my bed to pray
and only having groans
I feel so inept
for the not finding of words
and so I start at the beginning
again and again
I name the names
again and again
but for the asking I am unsure

I do not want to guide the hand of God to my will
rather I wish to be guided by the hand of God

so I settle in with my moans and my groans and my thanksgivings and my blessings
and my 'Thou art worthy's
and my 'Your will be done, Lord'
and my praising the One who is able
to do above all that I could think or ask
I think on all that is honourable and lovely
pure and blameless...
and I see Him...
my heart is settled from its rumblings
knowing they were heard and translated
by the Spirit of the Living God
my heart's peace tells me this
His Spirit bearing witness
to His truth
and His love

rest comes

His grace teaches my heart that all will be good
that evil will not always reign
that His kindom will come
and that already a piece of it sits within my very soul
This Christ who lives in me

I must pick myself up
and do this last run of the day
my last milking
the animals already fed
stalls and paddocks cleaned
the hammerings and nailings done for the day
Christ was nailed once to the cross for us
long ago
the work finished
those were His words...

daily as I nail and repair before the winter storms
I remember His final storm
and bearing of my shame

I bear it no more

I remember
the tender One
who asked that this cup may pass Him by
this cup of bearing my shame
but He chose to accept whatever God's will was
and it killed Him

O death where is your sting
HE set the captives free
HE lives
this great I AM
The grave could not hold Him

I am going out now
As I lift my face to the evening sky
It is to behold Him alone
and His glory, this risen One
my heart overflows with Thanksgiving
that He considered us all worthy

w.o.r.t.h.y.

I will lift my face to the night sky
and like last night when He pulled the soft haze off the horizon
and opened it up ablazing for me
then set an arc across the heavens with refiner's fire dancing to His song
the Big Dipper resting beneath the streaming brilliance
I will rest beneath this display of His love

Each night I will go out
again and again
to this closet of mine
where I find Him waiting
where I find Him painting His glory
for me to find
to thrill my soul
to set my feet a dancing

I should be on my way
I don't want to keep Him waiting

outside
my favourite things

-----------
I will also remember my mom, Jessica Louise, one of my moms, one of the many God sent to love me...
This is her birthday!

my favourite things/ Birthdays

Bethany's Stephen is celebrated today
a whole 26 years old
Bethany has been 26 since February

Stephen said with a grin
he would always be younger

Bethany has been excited for weeks now
and today with table all set
and gifts wrapped
and flowers and Autumn leaves circling his plate
a hearty breakfast prepared
cake baked
(by the two of them and all the giggles and hugs you could imagine)
and frosted
(whipping cream and icing sugar and cocoa)

YUM!

What a fun celebration
it was!

for me it is the smiles
and the giving
the sharing
and the knowing
that just maybe they will know they are special
they will know they are loved

a candle of life
blown easily
(no girlfriends)
singing happy birthday
for the second time
because the first time was without the cake

for the van Dijks
a birthday is a wonderful day
a 'we will all do all you want day'
a 'your day'
a 'do all you want day'

Stephen chose to wash the dishes
and I couldn't chase him out
like I could yesterday after a Thanksgiving feast
because like the Prince that he is
this is his day to do what he wants

they are off now
to laugh
and walk
and play
Happy kids...

He is a blessing
this new son

I have two now
lucky mom

blessed of the Lord

Birthdays
my favourite things

my favourite things/ in the waiting

it is good
really 
all this dreaming
and wondering
and hoping
and praying

I could not see the wind tonight
but it let itself be heard
as it rushed Autumny
through the forest
the hush of the day gone
instead my head spinning for the gustings
a warmth caught up in the coming cold
spinning together in a calypso dance
caught up in the excitement
of cherished Autumns past
remembering the waltz of the leaves
as they swoop and fall and swoop again


Sam was curled in a tight ball at the back door
I knew Blue dog would be looking for a sheltered corner near the chickens and goats
Saphira was already counting sheep in her sleep
and Canoe on the leash beside me swaying from side to side as he covered for my aged steps
his youthful gait caught up in the dance of the night


I could not see the Lord tonight
but He let Himself be heard
a still small voice in the storm
caught above the rushing of the leaves
against the night
a still sure voice
reminiscent of other nights
beneath the stars

My dear child
it is all in My hands
completely as it unfolds
it is in My hands
trust Me
all will be well

you cannot see the wind
but It is here

you may not see Me
but I Am here

trust Me

it is good
really 
all this dreaming
and hoping
and praying


and to believe that
God is here
unfolding a prize tapestry
of all life

it is in the waiting

this comfort
this peace

in the waiting

my favourite things


----------------------------------------


(photo) iron hot shoes made by my Beloved Bethany
.............when we have been tried, we shall come forth as gold

my favourite things/ harvest friends

harvest friends do call me
out to play I go
with golden sun and fallen leaves
I walk these streets of gold
the owl is loud in the valley
the magpies tease from the trees
the goats are trying out two step
with Blue dog and Sam
in the breeze

the bumble bees harvest their nectar
with sunflowers bold on each stem
they dance among all of this brightness
with humsongs of joy on each tongue
I pick my bouquet in their presence
and never a note do we miss
I  hum right along
I learn each new song
all in praise of God's Son
who's redeemed us


these gifts from above
sent from our Father in love
bring us joy
and His peace
overflowing
ever gracious is He
to be mindful of me
and of all His creation
Betrothen 

the cat's in the cradle
the dogs with the goats
my flowers all trimmed and so pretty
my husband eats corn
from our harvest adorned
by God's kindness
and love never failing
the dogs do laze
in the sun's warm haze
with crab apples laced all around them
rose hips
raspberries
bouquets all ablaze
with God's 'grace'
and
'this'
never
ending...

----------------------

harvest friends
my favourite things

my favourite things/ the old and familiar

the old and familiar
remained my closest friends today
and tonight as I closed my eyes
and listened
I could hear my heart beat
in my chest
its pulse
set to the music around me

and I wondered ...
does the train always rumble so

I hardly notice it
with my eyes open

so familiar all these games I play
when at home all are settled in cozy
and I take my bucket
and Big dog [Canoe]
and head out
to milk goats
and tonight ...
to play with the new kids
on the block.

I was so proud of Blue today

I knew this morning
as I sent the goats to pasture
and one lingered half field
while the others were forest bound
and leaping
Blue dog trailing behind
that she would be delivered

tonight my Wintergreen
the last of the triplets to give birth
stayed back in the forest with her two
and good dear Blue dog ran me to her

two bucks
still wet and fresh
under the spruce grove
nestled in moss and soft needles
working wobbly legs
up down up down
trying out
tenor voices
mama Wintergreen
proud and
in love
Blue dog proud
to show me
their secret

The rest of the herd following close behind me
baaing loud and celebrating
the last of the birthing
we carried them  young'uns to the barn
and with fresh straw and delicious hay
all around
and a warm lamp
we showed them how to find the first milks
mama calm trusting
pleased
with being
in the family way

-----------------

everyone tucked in
my last round to the chickens to close their door
look for egg gifts
over to scratch
the bunny tender
and whisper soft
I love yous
her fur like angel wisps
beneath my calloused hand

I linger
I have today
I don't want to forget these gifts

outside
I gaze straight up
the milky way thick and dripping fallen stars
God's hand annointing
our newlife

the Big Dipper
sits snug over my grand Cottonwood
I walk carefully in the thick night
remembering each lift and fall of the earth
along my path

I remember how earlier Eduardo thought of trading
our farm for another
it might be better he said
but the price was too high
and I smiled
and cried all in one
to be where all is familiar
where sweet memories sleep
waiting for the morning Son to awaken them

I will go where the Lord leads
joyously

for today
in my aging days
I find strength in familiarity
I have watched the same trees grow for thirty two years
I know every wild rose bush
the huckleberry
the chantarelles
the old fir and cottonwoods
the flow of Spring run-off
the sound of the creek
the call of the wild around us
the sun setting and rising
where rain will make her puddles
where the frogs come out to play

people have changed
grown up
moved away
some come back to plant joy
in an old friend's heart
others gone forever

At night when the world around me sleeps
and aloneness is like a warm cloak
it is the familiarity of my Lord's presence that woos me
completes me
as I meet with Him
in this land he has planted me in
He has tilled my soil
thrown on rich manure
waited
and waited
for good soil
and then planted

His seeds are love and peace
and goodwill
compassion and encouragement
strength to be weak
so another may be strong
joy wrapped in serving
laughter wrapped in kindness
gentle perseverance
patient longsuffering
heartsong
and praise
gratitude
mercy
...and grace

all watered with the river of forgiveness
bittersweet and lovely

I am praying for a bountiful harvest
on the day of His appearing
I want to be a joyous garden

Every year my Bethany
sweet Rose
gifts me with seeds
on Mother's day
and a card to say
"You gave me life
helped me grow
kept me close
then let me go...
You taught me everything I know..."

Those seeds now grace our table and home
and that of many others
flower gifts
full bloom with radiant beauty
they bring sonshine to the hearts of friends

they once were only seeds
and a thought
and a hope

I know my God gives me life
has helped me grow
kept me close
and let me go...
He has taught me everything I know

the old and the familiar
my favourite things

baby goats
Sunflowers
Poppies
Sweetpeas
Bumblebees
a cat named Oliver

my favourite things

my favourite things/ Sam dog and a half moon rising

Sam dog and a half moon rising
the air crisp and clean
echoe of owls in the night
a distant train
its soft rumble
caught up in the starry sky
high above the whole world

this part sleeping

my blood flowing
like the coyotes
and Sam and Canoe
cold noses stuck in the tall grass
and under loose logs
seeking
little 
things
that play
in
the
night

Canoe ran off
to chase the
wild things

I thought I would
sit with Sam awhile
as he lay in the sand
surrounded by everything beautiful
wide grassy fields
tall spruce and poplars
aged cottonwoods

the long shadows
cast themselves
against the barn
while the Milky Way
and a host of
the starry
heaven
cast themselves
across the heavens
all of us
arms lifted
content

praises
taking wing
light from the heart
because of my Burden Bearer
my Faithful One

how can one see the night
so full
and not notice the One
who paints the colours
and casts the shadows
against the
half moon rising

shadows
so entirely soft
against
our Sam dog
his head lifted to the Light
his nose catching scents
in the breeze
I know nothing of

I thought I would lay my head on Sam
like you see in a kid's storybook
of a summer's day
of a boy and his hound
or a girl and hers

I stretched out on the sand
and put myself comfy
on this great white pyrenese
maremma hound of mine

It wasn't like the storybook though

he darted out from under me and settled a few meters away
gazing intentedly at me

I pretended to be offended

he lept up and bounded over to me
and with a humungous leap
settled on 'my' lap

so
like perhaps in another storybook
somewhere
I scratched him on his ears
massaged deep around his neck
itched his belly
and whispered how much I loved him
sweet hound that he was
big and overflowing
content

He settled completely relaxed 
and star gazed with me
our dippers spilling out secrets

the North Star
tipping the little dipper

its blessings
falling
and filling
our night

Sam dog
thought I should
stay like this for a very long time

multiplied by seven for dog years

lifting my beloveds
and theirs
to the One
who holds our every wish
our every tear
our every laughter
I stayed
a long time

the night is a good friend
to smell its freshness
to see the glory above
to hear the night hawks cry
to feel the softness and warmth of a dog's fur
as cold dew settles all around
to taste and see that the Lord is good
and is happy to meet in the middle of a big field
in the cool of a starry night
with a girl
and her hound

Sam dog and a half moon rising
my favourite things

my favourite things / my little girl

she used to slide in beside me
hold my arm
her love wrapped in mine
her joy dancing along
free and flowing to all we would meet

my little girl
grew up


she slides her arm
into that of her prince now
the beauty of their love
the joy that now dances
through all their days

my little girl
grew up

took wing
and flew

her prince is all her world now
and the seed that grows within her
being knitted and fashioned
by God's loving hand
and heart
will set both their hearts to dancing
through all their days
to see this little miracle
suckle
grow
take wing and fly

and always
be their
little girl

or perhaps...
their
little boy !

...my little girl
my favourite things
------------------

(photo by Kate Hetherington)