my favourite things/ Thy 'tender' mercies/ Thy 'loving' kindness

the morning was fresh
the air cool
5:58
the alarm not quite off
I had slid quietly
out of bed
to do my goat baby check
and the graciousness of my Lord
met me as usual
as I walked
the early
path

It is always
as I 'lift' my countenance
that I 'feel' Him
or maybe it is because I feel His countenace
that I lift mine
-------------
And it came to pass
in the fortieth year
in the eleventh month
on the first day of the month
that Moses spake unto the children of Israel
according  unto all that the Lord had given him
in commandment unto them


The Lord said
you have dwelt long enough in this mount...
Behold
I have set the land before you:


Go in and possess it
-----------------


as I closed the barn latch again
the goatcheck done
no new young
Blue left in to guard
Sam out with me to check the trails
I lifted my face

He always amazes me
--------------------

the morning was new
the sun not yet risen
wispy grey clouds
disappearing on the low eastern horizon
the moon's soft glow sifted through the clouds in the southern sky
as I breathed in this morning gift of beauty to me
the moon rose above the grey
sat like a sun on a horizon
bright and half appearing
then seemed to burst the clouded sky
to give one last fullness
before the sun's rays cast golden
through the forest branches
-------------------------


Eduardo spoke of faith yesterday
and of what he has learned
through forty years of walking
mostly that we don't always 'feel' faith
...because faith does not 'rely' on what we feel
he shared
the Gospel of Mark
shared how the three women
that had come to the tomb
when they saw the stone rolled away
when they heard the angel's words
that Jesus was not there
the words that He was Risen
the words to go tell the disciples
that Jesus would go before them into Galilee
that they would see Him
Just as He had said unto them...
Eduardo shared
that they went out quickly
that they fled from the sepulchre
for they trembled
and were amazed:
then
neither. of. them. said. anything. to. any. man.
for. they. were. afraid.
this is Mark's sharing of what happened
in the early hours of that first Easter morning
He shared what was real in his heart
Jesus would change the fear
perfect love
casts out all fear

Faith is a gift from God
it does not rely on feelings
we may be afraid but it is as we believe God
that we 'see' clearly

Jesus went before them
to show Himself
to 'help' them believe

more blessed
He tells Thomas
who said he would not believe
until he put his finger in the holes
of Jesus' hands

more blessed
He tells Thomas
are those who have not seen
and
yet
believe
------------------

Faith makes us blessed
-----------------

Still it is a gift
----------------
that none may boast
----------------

I know my Redeemer Liveth
and as I walk my morning path
I 'feel' His presence
but
when I don't
He is still present
and He still holds me
and He still Liveth

I 'feel' His presence
but
when I don't
He still goes ahead of me
like He did for those three woman
who were in so much anguish
who were so terrified
who were so amazed
He goes ahead of us
to increase
our faith
to help us see
----------------
Then I said unto you
Dread not
neither be afraid

The Lord your God
Which goeth before you
He shall fight for you

Yet in this thing
you did not believe
the Lord your God

and so we remember
the forty years in the wilderness...

to know what was in our hearts
though
'His' heart
was to bring us into a good land
----------------
when we don't feel Him
He is still with us
and goes before us
to show us
the
Way
to show us a land
that when we have eaten and are full
we might remember
Him
that we might remember
to give praise
for the good land
that He has given us

it is not for bread alone
that we live
--------------------

Jesus came
to clear the guilty

that is all of us

and the Lord
The Lord God
is
merciful and gracious
longsuffering
and abundant in goodness and truth
Keeping mercy for thousands
forgiving iniquity
and transgression
and sin

we have found grace in His sight

because Jesus found us out
He came to clear the guilty

we are guilty no more

Jesus said
It is finished

only believe
we don't have to feel it
though some days I do
most days I do
but
on the ones I don't
those days I feel all alone
crushed
broken
abandoned

I just lift up my countenance
and meet His

He is Risen
He is Alive
God is with us

His mercies are
tender
His kindness
is loving
His suffering
is long
His love
is forever

Thy 'tender' mercies
Thy 'loving' kindness
The heart of God

my favourite things

----------------






 He is no fool who walks with God ~
He will find life and find it abundantly ~

my favourite things/ my daddy

I had a good cry tonight
a sob rather
the midnight hour
coming home with my milk bucket full
two gallons brimming
the toboggan with empty water buckets and lids

I was exactly one step from the top of the hill
carefully testing each foot I put down
when swoosh went my feet from beneath me
and the milk made a rich and creamy path down the hill

My empty bucket and I
made it in the house and as I was at the pantry sink
washing everything
my tears and sobbing started

It was not crying over spilled milk
I did that once thirty years ago
and learned laughing about it is better
I was not even crying over being hurt
from falling down the hill
because I slid smooth
and even giggled

I was remembering my daddy
thirty one years gone
and I was remembering how
he always looked after me
there was no slippery hill
it was sanded

He would always go out before any of us
and make it safe
He would  take my hand
carry my load

keep me safe

so here I am sobbing
because I miss my daddy's love

a small thing
yet a big thing

I have known my daddy's love
he gave his life for us in everyway
to  keep us safe

Easter is here again
and I am remembering an Abba Daddy's love
given
to keep us safe

The empty tomb is there
because of a Father's great love

to keep us safe
sobbing happy tears now

my daddy
and my Abba Daddy
I've known such love

my favourite things


------------------

a funny thing to be almost sixty
and cry like a child
to not be hurt
to be absolutely fine
but cry
because you remember
such
amazing
love

my daddy
my favourite things

my favourite things/ this precious love

These precious children
are already the heart of my daughter
and though years of gathering papers
and now watching them flutter in the wind
and be lost

even so

all is not hopeless

There is One who sat as King of the flood
and He sits as King forever

He is the One who moves in hearts
and makes ours like His Own

and if courage comes
by standing and knowing He stands with us
then stand we will
unmoveable
pressing forward
believing
in His Goodness

This mama heart is a long ways from the ache
across mountains and oceans and deserts
but nothing can separate us from the love of God
no ache
no distance
no thing

I looked through the deep blue sky last week
thinking how amazing that there was no end to it
I twirled a dance out in my snowcovered fields
looking for a cloud
for something
anything
the blue was flawless
deep and reaching
like God's love
unending
higher than anything I could ever imagine
I could see that 'He' would always be 'enough'


That night on my goat watch
at the midnight hour
looking for new life
sweet baaas in the night
warm and nestled in the soft hay
rapturous lickings from the mama baaa
sweet goat talk back and forth
to those she held within her
all those months
She couldn't see them though they were there
and now she does
It always makes me stand amazed
This new life
This knowing

the sky was star studded
I did my twirly dance in the night
under this rapturous heaven opened before me
What I didn't see through the deep blue of the day
What I could have only imagined
now lay before me in all its glory
It was always there but now in the darkness
I see a heaven glory stretching out to touch me
I see what in the day 
I was blind to

When all is well
We do not always remember God's "great' faithfulness
Oh we know He is there
His deep love far and extending
and we may rejoice in what is good
but we are merry
and sometimes
we forget it is He
that gives
merry

But
when darkness comes
any brightness becomes our hope
and when we see it
we remember He has always been with us
and we remember other nights He has brought us through
though some with torment and anguish
He has always brought us through to morning
and deep blue skies
and a remembering
of His faithfullness

The sun is reaching through the forest branches this morning
golden sunrays
Golden Sonrays
Waking my remembrance to His Abiding Love

He is unchanging
Though we do not see Him
He abides with us

He will gather
the lost papers
that dance in the wind

He will show us the beauty of the dance
as He gathers the wind in His hands

The deep blue
The starry night
His unchanging love
He cares for little ones
and their mama's love
This precious love

my favourite things


----------------------------
The courts have again lost papers
But God is able
please pray with us

my favourite things/ the fast and furious

 

today was another of those days
skis on
dogs along side

only it was -5C and slippery

our trail was already packed with two grooves
the dogs didn't sink nearly as badly

and we flew

so much fun these days together
the sun on our faces
no breeze
only the freshness
lifting off the snow

the air tastes good
I shouted up through the swooshing of our skis
it was more than just the smell
it had savour
of pureness
and it
tasted
good

it was pure sweetness
a God gift

we
were
the
fast
and
furious
today

my favourite things

two dogs
my man
skis
sunshine
clear lungs
speed
laughter

home in one piece
contentment
thanksgiving
to the One
who gives
good
gifts

my favourite things

my favourite things/ back door skiing

out our backdoor we go
we call the dogs
get on our skis
and hit the trails

Eduardo is the adventurer
he likes to break new ground

I am the skier
I like it groomed and straight
fast and sleek

so we did the packed trails first
then headed into virgin snow
two hours of beauty
and laughter
exclamations and praise

passing rabbit paths
and moose
coyote
and fox
squirrel
and a mouse dragging its tail
grouse and raven
beaver
and
us

two people
two dogs
and the Maker of all this glory

a warm day
warm hearts
trees casting shadows
the Son casting sun rays
colour returning into the winter lands
rich blue sky
yellow in the willows
red thoughout the brush
green lichens and old man beard

birch and alder seeds
scattered for the birds

underground tunnels
for all the little animal folk
them nibbling bentover trees
caught in the deep snow
frozen chantarelles
leftover cranberries

All of us feasting in some way
on all of this glory

up hill
down hill
gliding and
resting
then
home again

skis off
up against the garage
a walk up the hill to the house
goats calling in the distance
spring birds singing from the tall trees
a warm fire waiting
a family weekend
a new holiday
for British Columbians

a fit just perfect
for us

back door skiing
my favourite things

My favourite things/ Mr Snowfriend

Mr Snowfriend on a lazy day
you rolled and rolled and rolled around
you found a scarf and doffed a hat
put on your smile
and laughed a lot
my dogs were happy too

my snowfriend

my favourite things

my favourite things/ chasing the moon

a long day done
riding home up the old Airport Hill

and there
rising above the Fraser
and Nechako
was this Mr Moon
my Old Friend

funny I could still see the same face there
I had always seen
the serene one
always calm
half smiling

pleased that I had dared look up

we smiled at each other

all the way home I stopped
jumped out of my car
and snapped

my camera was happy
the light was fading
but the brightness matched
the shine of my countenance
as we traveled together
my 32 kms

it was peek a boo
and catch me if you can
a stop in the misty fields at Marsha's
click again
her cows away in a different field for the night
the old cabins held in the mist like a dream
angel webs swaying through the trees
the night singing a lullaby
with the night hawk
and fox in the field
mice gathered
for the young

past my driveway
a stop at our neighbours
Mr Moon playing leapfrog
with their big rounds of hay
coyote paths wound round and round
in games of tag
me balancing
stretching
to catch his fullness sitting in the trees
Mr Moon
round and soft
in the haze of the
fleeing afternoon

old fences
gates
barb wire stretching far
the mist settling deep
humming a 'go to sleep' song
'a day is done' song
my camera clicking
almost too dark

Past another dear neighbour
cows stretched across the horizon
fronts seats to the rising Mr Moon
their low mooing
sweetness in the
closing of the 
curtains
day sunk wearily into night

at the Willow now
beavers in lodges silent
the water's flow mostly beneath snow
Mr Moon
fuzzy in the fog
soft above the trees
blurred
and
stopped for the night
as I look over the bridge
all around
I breath deep
to fill my being with more
of this vigor
this laughter
of our game
of chase and find
and the rest
refreshed

Home now
He slowly follows me
up our driveway
and I leave him
sitting above the poplars
company through the night
for our horses
and goats
Blue dog and Sam
all the wild ones of the
night will howl
together
front seats
with Mr Moon
and the night

a God gift
this
chasing the moon

my favourite things