Sunday, January 15, 2012

my favourite things/new beginnings

Danielle
her beauty shines
from within

it always did

a young girl
with enough life and joy
to keep one smiling
long after she's flitted
off to dance
or play

a young wife
a young mom
the beauty
ever  present
and when her  world
would seem to fall
away...

His beauty holds her up
The One who always did
and always will...
still...holds her up

He remains the same
and in His love
He promises He will be there

so the beauty remains
and always
will

and I marvel
and weep

for
all
this
beauty

Danielle
her beauty
by God's grace

my favourite things

-------------------------------------------------------
Here is a part of her story... be blessed
We also ask your prayers



Bigger than me!

The day before we were to receive the results of the biopsy, my Dad, heavy-hearted, drove to work, to share Christ's love with the men locked away in the Kamloops Correctional Centre. About 18 men filled the chapel that day. And Dad says, "they sang their guts out!".
After a time of singing, they usually take time for prayer requests. Dad, stood in front of these men, their lives full of hurt. Dad's life was hurting too. He began by asking them if they might pray for him that day, and pray for me.
A man stood up... and Dad's heart sank. This was not the sort of man Dad would've chosen to bring the name of his little girl before the Throne of God. He was hard and scarred and mean.
They all bowed their heads and waited to hear what this man could possibly have to say.
"Dear God, I know I don't talk to you very often...", he began. And then, Dad said, he could not believe the prayer that proceeded to come out of his mouth! This man who could be described a lot like this: "despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not", this man, began to plead with God... for me!
As he cried out to God to remove this disease from my body, my Dad looked up to see tears streaming down his tattooed face. He glanced around the room to the other inmates, rough, wounded men, weeping with heads bowed... for my Dad... for me!
The man sat down, and Dad, looking into the faces of each one there, told them, "the world out there thinks you guys are nothing, worthless, the scum of the earth, but you have shown me today that you have hearts of compassion and love!"
A prisoner came up to my Dad, following chapel, put his hand on Dad's shoulder and said, "He's gonna heal her, Rev. Cause we need a miracle in here."

... This is so much bigger than me!

What a miracle it would be that, through my Dad, my life, MY life, my LIFE could somehow touch a prisoner's soul and let him know that he is LOVED, that he is FORGIVEN, that he is WORTHY OF LOVE regardless of what he has done... and maybe that knowledge could actually set him FREE!

Monday, January 9, 2012

my favourite things/ Sarah



the footprints
in the snow
were
her very own
I'd know them anywhere

toed in
stepping so rhythmically
making a steadfast path
with purpose
I could tell she had thrown abandon
out the chicken coop
and had been merrily
on her way

I know my girl

I followed her steps
to the hill and then called to her

her path...
vanished
her...
vanished
my heart...
pumping

how does a muscovy duck
squeeze so tightly into one's heart?

Sarah was our duckling to look after
at a friend's farm
18 years ago

it was
3 muscovies
and 4 rouens
in total

they started as eggs
we watched them hatch
they saw us
and called us mom
we fed
and watered them
loved them
and they just naturally
came home with us
when
our friend's farm
folded

they needed a mom
and were only a year old
or was it two
when they arrived with 5 horses
and some goats
when my home schooled kids
became their proud owners
and mom the stable hand
watching kids
and animals grow
in favour and stature
with God and man

'my' Sarah now

because the home schooled ones
have flown the coop
left the nest
followed God's heart
and what's left is just us...
horses and goats
rabbits and chickens
ducks
dogs
cat

turtle
cockatiel
my husband

we have passed every day together
Sarah and I
for 18 years
minus a few days or hours
for holidays

so when I thought she was tucked away last night with the others
certain she would be there
though I didn't see her white brightness peeking through
the mottling of the rouens or hens deep under the feeder
tucked away warm in the sweet hay
though I checked out back in their fenced day area
for her just in case
and didn't see her...
and thought surely she was snuggled deep
and safe
like every other night
for all those many many years

I should have known that our chinook weather
had given her Spring fever
where for 18 years
she would be
the risk taker
would leave the coop
search out a nesting ground
play in the creek on the way
do some skinny dipping
do some feather preening until she sparkled
do some bottom munching...

she saw the fox before it saw her
( I know because I saw his tracks that stopped before they reached the turn in the creek where she sat hiding)

the fox had returned the way he had come emptyhanded
she had stayed all night

feathers groomed
belly filled
safe in the bend of the creek
though the moon came out full
she sat in a little nook
in the cool of the stream
watching
waiting

I had searched everywhere
I had sung her name out over the hillsides
checked all the trees

She had flown to the neighbour's farm and back once
years ago
in her youth
before she believed that there was
no place like home

I checked all the hay stacks
all the mangers
under every feeder
every stall
beside every farm animal
she was our beloved prodigal
who loved to visit everyone
but would
always come back...

she always came back
always remembered where home was

she had no chains
but had lived free all these years

I called the dogs
and said find Sarah
I opened the gate to the creek area
their noses led them to her trail
that disappeared
in flight

she loved to fly

the dogs flew through the snow
past the bend in the creek to the fox trail
I watched from behind

and then I saw her

tucked cozy under the banks edge
she was a smart one
safe from the fox

she didn't move when I called her name
I called her one last time

she was so still
so perfect

I saw where she had landed
after her flight 
where she had made a new path
with the same toed in
rhythmic determined steps
her path was beautiful
that beauty locked in my memory

I could see how she stopped at the creek's edge
jumped off the snow bank and glided as she touched the water
her heart merry

I saw her and knew that her bit of glory
had taken flight

her eyes were still open
still so much light
her neck set so gracefully along her back
wings folded safe around her
she looked like she had sat calm
restive unafraid

I'm afraid I cried long and hard
I held her against my breast and pulled my hoody over her wet frame to warm her
to bring back that bit of glory

the dogs came to my side
and stayed with me
they had no words
no tail wag
just presence
faithul eyes watching
waiting

have you ever done CPR to a muscovy?
her little lungs filled so easily
I tried so hard
so gently
such a crazy mom
and then I just had to let her go
and let God

goodbyes are never easy
for me at least

I feel I should have been there for her in her darkest hour
only a bird
but even God sees every sparrow that falls
I felt responsible

she was old
she was so peaceful
she was so beloved
I'll miss her
God knows all this
He holds us all
in His bosom
room for all
room for the little baby girl at TLC
fighting for her life
us fighting to keep her breath here
God holding us and saying
it is well
it is finished
death is swallowed up in Victory
death won't hurt anymore
His beloved Son finished the task
and tells us there is room for us all
in His Father's House
He gives breath and takes it away
and has power
to give it back again

Bethany said
Mom
It was her time
she lived long and well
she was a good bird

just a wee duck
beloved all the same
Lord thank you for
Sarah

my favourite things



-------------------------------------
"maybe if more people had a duck in their life, maybe we wouldnt be all so mad at each other" ~ Joe the Trucker (Trucking Duck)















Tuesday, January 3, 2012

my favourite things/ blessed by a sister/Kreativ Blogger Award

my dear friend Dawn at http://dschondog.wordpress.com/2012/01/03/blessed-by-a-brother/ has given me this award...
How fun!
Now I get to nominate 6 others!
( By the way this idea began with Hulda Husfrue at http://huldals.blogspot.com/ and has taken a few turns since it's beginning... as it is a "creative blog award" it doesn't surprise me in the least that it has taken creative changes. Make it fun and beautiful, personal and intimate, whimsical and surprising, in any which way you like and I give the thumbs up to any creativity that follows it on!) check out other kreativ blogger award winners on the web to see where it has gone.
One of the ongoing ideas with it is that the receiver must post 10 facts about themselves that are potentially unknown by all of us who will be reading :) This is to encourage a little bit of cyberspace community and is meant to be fun! As I am quite an open book this will be hard for me to find anything others don't know...
Actually, as I sit here, everything I want to write... I think you all know...but then maybe some of you don't!
I will try again....

1.I love babies, more than anything... maybe some of you didn't know this... I think sometimes it is hard not to see :)
I had three marvelous pregnancies and have three of the most precious children in the world (a mom can say so) and I have three of the most gorgeous and loving granchildren ( I think a gramma can say so)
I have also had 9 miscarriages and the sorrow a mother carries through all of these losses. The tears don't ever go away completely, though faith reminds me that hope in a big God will bring us united in His love on that day when we are all changed, and when we see Him like He is. It will be a grand reunion!

2.I love the colour 'Blue' !
It is the colour of the sky when my heart is light and joyous...
It is colour of my favourite lakes, cool and refreshing on a hot summer's day...
It is the colour of my husband's eyes, and my childrens', one of my Blue dog's eyes, my own...and though I love the mystery of hazel eyes, the sparkle of dark brown eyes, the character of two tone, and the uniqueness of indian red.... for me "blue" eyes have always been gentle in my life, caring and giving... My adopted dad had blue eyes.
I can't remember the colour of my adoptive mom's eyes... she died when I was eight and no matter how much I try to see her loving face, what I see most clearly are her arms around me and her bosom as she would hold me tight...

3.I think family ties run deeper than blood....
My first dad didn't stick around; he had his pleasure and then he left. My mom's husband wouldn't have me. I know she cried when she gave me up. I think I remember that... I feel it deeply and I love her so much. I pray often for both those men. My dad and mom that took me home and loved me, gave me and my other two adopted brothers, their lives. We were everything to them. It was not a Christian home, but God lived there. His love was evident there and I know someone somewhere was praying. Years later I found the name of the Catholic Christian woman who said she would dedicate herself in prayer to my brother when he was babtized as a baby... perhaps it was her prayers that brought Jesus near. I always loved Jesus, if that is possible, in some way I always knew him. As people shared about Him I hungered for more and I recieved him as my Lord and Savioiur at an early age thanks to my dear friend's mother... along my life people have shown me the way of the gospel more plainly; how thankful I am for that gift to me, yet, somewhere, somehow I  remember Him always present in my life. Immanuel, God with us; a father to the Fatherless. That first week without a father was never really without a Father...

4. Hand (love) knitted socks, mitts, and sweaters are "home" to me. As a child my adopted mom taught me to knit slippers when I was six and my brother was eight. ( my other brother, like a twin to me, had been removed from our family when we were both three with no explanation to Randy or me... something  that created a deep chasm in our hearts)
When my mom died and I missed her so, I didn't match up the feeling I felt seeing friends wear their homeknitted items until much later when at 11 my new sister (dad remarried and my new mom had a 19 year old son in the Navy and a 21 year old daughter finishing as an RN),  she knit matching blue sweaters for Randy and me one Christmas! It was like having Mommy Tootsie back and brought such healing to my heart.
I always found hand (love) knitted items for my children from special grannies that just had to knit, and stockings at Christmas are often filled with such!

5.  I daydream... lots!
Working on a farm there is so much brainless work... I love brainless work because then I can daydream. This is mostly my prayer closet and it offers wonderful intimate times with my Lord.

6. I love 'people watching'. If I had my way I would carry a sketch book everywhere and draw everyone... even at church... especially at everyday tasks, or at the beach, or a cafe, even more especially at a wedding or kid's party or a zoo! To catch the intimate, the sarcasm, the quaint, the very heart of the moment... I am saving for a very wonderful camera that will help me take these moments back home to draw in the company of my 'reading' glasses... a new need in my life that makes many old pleasures more difficult.

7. I love taking exciting risks as long as they are definitely not going to be life threatening... I pray a lot that these exciting adventures always will end 'well' ! My husband is in no way a risk taker so life is very straightforward and constant with him (sometimes a good thing too)... but then my kids come home and my adreneline runs on the 'fun' end :) I do 'love' it!

8. I talk... alot...
I don't mean to ... but there is always so much to share. God is always so very very good!
I usually try to talk so as to stir up memories or ideas in others... I love to hear how others see things; I love to learn, and I glean so much just by hearing others share.... but if they won't, watch out, because I will!
I am trying and sometimes succeeding to just hang out with people and be the wall flower that simply is there to bless in a very quiet fashion. Being busy at ladies' tea in my home each Thursday, serving the others, is a great opportunity and I find having two ears and one mouth has great benefits.

9.I love apples. When I paint a picture of the forbidden tree I notice I always put apples on it... not because others have done so, but because there is nothing more scrumpcious to me than those memories as a young girl, of filling my boxes in apple harvest season with juicy, cool, dripping golden delicious apples; I did this with my new stepmom in the cool of the summer mornings, one of the first love memories I have of a very difficult relationship. A sweet memory I love to hold fast to. I can imagine how tempting this fruit might have been to Adam and Eve so long ago.

10. I love to swim naked...(oops)
I try to do this alone or with friends in the dark of night ... I don't do it to be seen, but to feel... there is nothing like the touch of water all over, to glide like a dolphin, deep and smooth and then to just float and find the fetal position and remember the womb... Sometimes I want to just know what it was like for God to think of me before my members were formed or I was even conceived, like the psalmist says...
 1 You have searched me, LORD,
   and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
   you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
   you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
   and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
   too lofty for me to attain.
 7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
   Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
   if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
   your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
   and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
   the night will shine like the day,
   for darkness is as light to you.
 13 For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you. ~Pslam 139

I haven't skinny dipped since I was a teenager... but the feeling has never left me
---------------------------------------------------
Now to nominate others for the

1.My eldest daughter who threw abandon out the window and has settled in South Africa... Shoshanna is one of my three great risk takers. Every day is a 'Kreativ' experience for her as she progresses on the adoption of all the children God has for her... http://addingjoyandlaughter.blogspot.com/
Her insight is precious and though the miles keep us apart, her blog brings her and her babas close.
2.Karen at http://piecesofcontentment.blogspot.com/
This Australian friend is artist supreme with her camera... her eye is beautiful and I am always inspired and encouraged as I visit her blog.
3.Debbie at http://iftodaywehear.wordpress.com is the author of  'Simple Poems' and very profoundly and simply teaches great lessons from God's living Word. I am always fed here. Her spirit is true, compassionate and compelling. Trust in the true and living God!
4.This is an amazing blog encouraging a reaching out to the least of these, as Jesus might put it.... if you have done it to the least of these, you have done it to Me... this is my daughter's favourite blog and my heart is with her on it.
http://reecesrainbow.org/
5.http://slobberdogblog.blogspot.com/ This is a remarkable sharing of a set of twins, the sons of Thea Jarvis the 'mama Thea' of The Love of Christ Ministries in South Africa (tlc.org.za) where my daughters and son and myself have volunteered over the past half dozen years. Outstanding boys, never in trouble (oops) and not afraid to share everything with those who read along; laugh with them, cry with them... maybe they will post an update on their very busy lives.
6.http://aseedinspired.com  "T" is exceptional! She captures moments and shares them beautifully. She is a writer, artist, amazing mom... walk with her as she shares: you will be blessed!
7. One of the most creative blogs because it brings in so many participants is Pioneer Woman Photography | with Ree Drummond ~ http://thepioneerwoman.com/photography
This is a fun space even in her photography of food category ... yum yum
8.http://www.ramblingtart.com/
Krista is a fine young lady who travels the world and shares the simple beauty as she goes. Presently she is settling in a new homeland/Australia ... I first met this young lady when she was just a little mite and in the dreaming stage...
9.
http://theillustratedword.blogspot.com
Andrea has already been nominated for herhttp://theartoflifeistogetthemessage.blogspot.com
................so I will give her a second mention here because she is so very 'Kreativ'
inspirational... beauty packed!
10. As Aimee at http://onbecomingesther.wordpress.com says, You are blessed to be a blessing!
This fine lady of the Lord has teachings that will lead and heal, minister to and bless, admonish and encourage.
I call that 'Kreativ"
11. a very favourite blog of many and for me an in everyway inspirational is AnnVoskamp, the author of One Thousand Gifts; her blog http://www.aholyexperience.com/ is "so" very creative in everyway possible.... won't you join the community of believers who are counting their God gifts, their grace gifts, recording their gratitudes....


As you can see I was "Kreativ' and went over the guidlines...
Tomorrow if I did it again, I would have to add more! So for today, many blessings as we go forth in the image of the One who "Kreated" us ....being made in His image, how can we not be 'Kreativ'
Rest in His Grace,
my favourite things
thefisherlady