my favourite things/ my daddy

I had a good cry tonight
a sob rather
the midnight hour
coming home with my milk bucket full
two gallons brimming
the toboggan with empty water buckets and lids

I was exactly one step from the top of the hill
carefully testing each foot I put down
when swoosh went my feet from beneath me
and the milk made a rich and creamy path down the hill

My empty bucket and I
made it in the house and as I was at the pantry sink
washing everything
my tears and sobbing started

It was not crying over spilled milk
I did that once thirty years ago
and learned laughing about it is better
I was not even crying over being hurt
from falling down the hill
because I slid smooth
and even giggled

I was remembering my daddy
thirty one years gone
and I was remembering how
he always looked after me
there was no slippery hill
it was sanded

He would always go out before any of us
and make it safe
He would  take my hand
carry my load

keep me safe

so here I am sobbing
because I miss my daddy's love

a small thing
yet a big thing

I have known my daddy's love
he gave his life for us in everyway
to  keep us safe

Easter is here again
and I am remembering an Abba Daddy's love
given
to keep us safe

The empty tomb is there
because of a Father's great love

to keep us safe
sobbing happy tears now

my daddy
and my Abba Daddy
I've known such love

my favourite things


------------------

a funny thing to be almost sixty
and cry like a child
to not be hurt
to be absolutely fine
but cry
because you remember
such
amazing
love

my daddy
my favourite things

my favourite things/ this precious love

These precious children
are already the heart of my daughter
and though years of gathering papers
and now watching them flutter in the wind
and be lost

even so

all is not hopeless

There is One who sat as King of the flood
and He sits as King forever

He is the One who moves in hearts
and makes ours like His Own

and if courage comes
by standing and knowing He stands with us
then stand we will
unmoveable
pressing forward
believing
in His Goodness

This mama heart is a long ways from the ache
across mountains and oceans and deserts
but nothing can separate us from the love of God
no ache
no distance
no thing

I looked through the deep blue sky last week
thinking how amazing that there was no end to it
I twirled a dance out in my snowcovered fields
looking for a cloud
for something
anything
the blue was flawless
deep and reaching
like God's love
unending
higher than anything I could ever imagine
I could see that 'He' would always be 'enough'


That night on my goat watch
at the midnight hour
looking for new life
sweet baaas in the night
warm and nestled in the soft hay
rapturous lickings from the mama baaa
sweet goat talk back and forth
to those she held within her
all those months
She couldn't see them though they were there
and now she does
It always makes me stand amazed
This new life
This knowing

the sky was star studded
I did my twirly dance in the night
under this rapturous heaven opened before me
What I didn't see through the deep blue of the day
What I could have only imagined
now lay before me in all its glory
It was always there but now in the darkness
I see a heaven glory stretching out to touch me
I see what in the day 
I was blind to

When all is well
We do not always remember God's "great' faithfulness
Oh we know He is there
His deep love far and extending
and we may rejoice in what is good
but we are merry
and sometimes
we forget it is He
that gives
merry

But
when darkness comes
any brightness becomes our hope
and when we see it
we remember He has always been with us
and we remember other nights He has brought us through
though some with torment and anguish
He has always brought us through to morning
and deep blue skies
and a remembering
of His faithfullness

The sun is reaching through the forest branches this morning
golden sunrays
Golden Sonrays
Waking my remembrance to His Abiding Love

He is unchanging
Though we do not see Him
He abides with us

He will gather
the lost papers
that dance in the wind

He will show us the beauty of the dance
as He gathers the wind in His hands

The deep blue
The starry night
His unchanging love
He cares for little ones
and their mama's love
This precious love

my favourite things


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The courts have again lost papers
But God is able
please pray with us