Monday, March 26, 2012

my favourite things/ Lord I run to you again and again

I wait
for the evening to fall
for everyone to sleep
then I venture out
one last time

It is easier before supper
in the brightness of the afternoon glow
the air still warm from the Spring sun
the snow soft underfoot
the day still sparkling
in all its splendor

but I wait
and in my last bit of weariness
before I can resist sleep no longer
I head out

seven huge pails of water
one of soaked beet pulp and dairy ration
stretched on the long toboggan
and because it is Spring's slipperiness
I dangle myself at the back
holding fast
pulled down by the steep and icy hill
steering with my feet
like a rudder
behind me

I've watched all 6'8" of Jedaiah do this
winter after winter
it works well

no crashes at high speed into frozen snow banks
no spilling of domino buckets
except maybe two or three times a season
by me

I'm not as clever as my son
who jumps off at just the right time
but even that I am mastering

This is my entrance into

The Holy of holies

there are no distractions
as I commune here

as His heavens declare His majesty
I am filled with awe
and laid empty before
my Maker
My Abba Father
I find Him easiest here
though always
'He Is"

It has been three nights
since this outburst of glory
this game we play

I keep wanting to share it

too much glory to hold in

The sky had a hint of deep red
as I slid down the hill to my chores
no crashing
a perfect landing
a look around to see His majesty enthroned
a Heaven astounding in its brilliance
dark but star studded... again

how I love His presence

even in the darkness of the night
He has taught me to trust Him here
my old fears allayed
my heart thrust open
my eyes lifted
my breath deep and free
total peace
and rest
in Him

I am no longer tired

my swing was busy this night

as I again sat swaying in the loft

hay and water all given
grain devoured

I swing
watching the goat herd
fat with young
about to burst forth
the dogs doing their night watch
the feathered ones quiet
the horses' munching of hay
steady in the night air
a soft rumble against the coyote
howls of the night
like the


The sky is simple in its brilliance this night
if all this beauty can ever be said to be simple

I spotted no falling stars
like the night before
the red was deep and mixed
with darkness

all the creatures tucked in for the night
I was almost home

all the way I had searched
for Aurora Borealis
but the sky was silent of its dancing colours
it lay sleeping and calm

I was half way up my hill
the toboggan of empty buckets
scraping the silence away

I know my Redeemer liveth
and this is a game we often play together
in the small hours of the night
when others do sleep and dream
as I near home

when He asks me...

I turn around

knowing all had been only star studded darkness
but knowing that in this game
God only asks me to trust Him...

I turned...

His gift was there for me

Green streaks stretched high and wide in the sky
Brilliance and Busyness !
the horizon dancing with this glory
where a moment earlier
it lay sleeping

and I laughed
from a deep spot in my heart
that believes God...
that wonders at how
He can play this game
over and over with me
and like a young child
I am always delighted
clasping my hands
and rejoicing

it is in the knowing...
it would be there

This is our game

for this
I wait
for the night

for this I turn
when I near home

after all the glory
of this game we endlessly play

I know nothing is impossible

with Him

we talk and laugh and shout together with joy
I lay silent before Him
then we shout joyously together again
the night a chorus before us
the colours sing out like a song
He hears "all" of my heart
and I feel I understand His
I stand humbled before Him
at His faithfulness
His tender mercies
this lavished grace
this miracle time of refreshment
my praises lifted
and thanksgiving
my burdens laid down
my beloveds lifted
the hard things given up

I take a deep breath
I hold it

and then it is gone
the night sleeps on

but His joy rests within me

I slide beside my beloved
covers pulled up around us
his soft sleeping breaths comfort about me
I close my eyes
and  know
there is One who watches over us

He cares for us

He always is

Even in the morning
when the night glory has been lifted
when a deep blue reaches out to the heavens
All that glory is still there
though I can't see it dancing the same
He still is
all around me

I just know He is
His dance in my heart
and His song
still with me

whether it be bright daylight
or overcast night

I will always run to You
again and again

my favourite things

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

my favourite things / it's her freckles

It's her freckles I remember the most
soft in colour
blended almost as one
and some so small and close
they seem like the Milky Way at night

tonight was one of those nights
I remembered her

with the freckles
come the smiles
and for some reason I see her
with her first husband
standing each
one foot on
one foot off
on their tandom bicycle
in the sand
at the beach
in the sun
a turban on his head
and a smile
so big
I should know him
but I wasn't even born when
he died so quickly
it made my mom bitter
against God
and sometimes

my mom
a beauty
dark auburn red curls
long and bouncy to her shoulders
her eyes wide like a movie star she loved
her body gently volumnous
and strong in her
old hockey player fashion
and still such
a lady

she married my dad
after my real mom died

the one who adopted me
and loved having a little girl
and her big brother
and poured out all her heart on us

these freckles were new
and came with her laughter
the rest I forgave her for
because I know she hurt
and couldn't get rid of the pain

how does a girl of eight know this

it has been so many years
and now tonight
with the Milky Way
so thick against the black sky
I smile remembering her freckles
how the sun would catch them
and juggle them across her arms
on a summer's day
and like the sparkle
of the falling star in the east
brilliant in its last flame
her soft eyes would sparkle fun
and all would be well with the world

on the good days

I forgive her
for the others

like the falling stars
glimmering across the horizon
then gone
I miss her
all of her
the "just call me"
when she was brand new to us
and how a summer later
I shouted "MOM"!
and almost swallowed my tongue
at the surprise
and that it actually felt good

to say Mom

the stars were so many tonight
the Big Dipper sat balanced
above the Christmas tree at the horses
the tall one we tied a sack around
so that the horses wouldn't get pitchy
and then it died 
the string too tight
so it stands tall like my little
Christmas trees in March
the needles gone
but the memory still strong

the light from the goat stall
illuminates the frill of tiny icicles
along the eaves
white against the night sky
created all in just one day
this sculpted beauty

I turn out the light
and again
all I see are her freckles
and a smile
the stars so wide
against the night sky

we sit
reading books together silently
in the stream of sunshine
in the afternoon
before supper
I sit
watching her play solitare
I watch her
paint and polish her nails
I watch as she
reads the paper
and works her crossword

the sky is full of words
like a crossword puzzle
and the emotions they bring
and the beauty they can hold
should we choose

it is always a choice
this lavishing of love
on those around us

My moms always had their special days
those are the ones I will remember

family puzzles at Christmastime
Twister... all of us tangled in love
on a piece of dotted plastic
tangled in wonderful laughter
mom taking these two young kids
to a Beatle's concert
some things can never be forgotten
I still see Ringo Starr
hammering out on those drums
the people screeching
adreneline flowing free
old mothers
kids fascinated
at how the old ones
leap up and down and grow hoarse
full of screaming
us smiling
and remembering
"I love you ya ya ya"
the lights blinking
like the stars tonight

summer creek crawling
and picnics
so much family
it must have gone
way back to Adam...
whipped creme play fights
frisbees and balls
pure joy

I stopped at the house and put out the lights
went back out to see the night
one last time
one last mom hug
and dad hug
and see you soon hug
a thank you Jesus hug
lifted prayers and hugs for my beloveds
then a turn back into the house

home fires going
cat waiting to curl up
and purr
as I remember
Milky Ways
and smiles

my favourite things

Monday, March 19, 2012

my favourite things / sunrays drips daffodils

I even look their way
I smell them

It begins
in a mellow fashion
waiting to be invited in
for chai tea and a chat perhaps
by the time my lungs are filled
I am drunken
as a hive of bees
on a

it is only then
that my eyes catch
their sunshiny brightness
as they sit joyously
on my window sill 
golden sunrays
of the afternoon
pulling their daffodil heads around
to witness its setting through
the sparkling forest
alive with glistening
drips of melting snow
crowns of glory
before their

Even if these don't praise me
Jesus had said of the crowds
as they lay palm branches down
before Him

this King of glory
riding on a donkey

even as
He entered Jerusalem
This Only Begotten of the Father
This Balm of Gilead
This Rose of Sharon
This Lily of the Valley
This Royal Lion of the Tribe of Judah
choosing instead to become
The Lamb of God

doing the will of His Father

Even then...
He said

If these people do not praise Me
these rocks and hills
would rise up
to give Me glory

how. could. we. ever. miss.
who He really is
If all around us
the created gives Him honour
how have we not always known Him
or always believed Him

for even one moment

how could we have ever doubted Him

all He has done goes before Him

the testimony of those who really saw Him

A thief who recognized Him at the last Hour
and said
remember me when you come into Your Kingdom

the Centurian who watched Jesus die
and said
This was the Son of God

raised from the dead

Jairus' daughter healed

water made into wine

five thousand fed

and. always. the. overflowing.

Snow drips off my tin roof
the overflowing of melted snow
music on each dormer
each drip sparkles
as they pass me by
but I see them
my golden daffodils
see them
as they fall down
to waken this sleeping earth
all this created
shining for Him
and I notice all this
and realize how blessed I am...

to see His glory
to smell His glory
to hear His glory

I long to see Him face to face
and touch His glory
I want to put my hand in His
and tell Him... the scars were not in vain
I want to touch His pierced side
and tell Him how grateful I am
that it was He who bore all this pain
and sorrow because I could not have endured
I want to tell Him I am sorry
it had to be this way

This Bread of Life
broken for me
This cup
poured out for me

and so I eat
and I do drink
a Love so strong
that It gave up Its Glory in Heaven
to be a Ransome
for the broken
and lost
the imprisoned
the vile
and corrupt


His treasure

in need of Him
to become

In heaven the roads are paved in gold

I know it is His brightenss
leading the sinner home

It is His brightness
coming for his bride

so much here
reminds me of His coming

I want to be ready
I. want. to. see. Him.


my favourite things

Saturday, March 17, 2012

my favourite things/the snow falls softly

the snow falls softly
and I am mesmerized
on my ladder
high up
one fist tight the other stretched
reaching into the tall vastness
flakes falling
curving outward from the warmth of the barn
its currents setting it to dancing
my fingers open

keen to catch the softness
to feel it melt and become warmth
no distinction
from my flesh
both alive
melded together
as one

Danielle is on my heart
and lifted like this dance
the currents of God's love
bringing such beauty
all that love falling
our prayers reaching
fingers open
to catch a portion
of that falling grace
drifting and filling
the empty portions
of our reaching souls
our prayers prostrate
before our Maker
as He fills
our emptiness
with Him

this perfect love falling
this soft snow falling

my fears cast out
love holds no room
for fear

the snow falls softly
it is enough
each flake
a prayer

my favourite things

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

my favourite things/ a new day

the sun
casting her warmth
shadows bursting with bright light
or is it
the brightness
casting off the darkness
all the forest growth
with the fire
of the morning

the Son
casting His warmth
shadows dispelled
His brightness
out the darkness
our lives
with the fire
of His dawning


a new day

my favourite things

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

my favourite things/ God sees things so differently

I did not desire him
he preferred to be alone
wallow in the mire of depression
sink deep in his own thoughts
think how he could pay back
he would find their evil
expose it

In this mood
I did not desire him

I tried

I offered encouragement
God was bigger
would find a way
would bring us through

He always has
He always will

I tried to wrap my arms around him
I tried to find his thoughts
I tried to find some soft spot
where he would give in
and smile
notice me
I loved him
notice that he was not alone
that we go through this together

maybe he could even notice
I too might be sinking

he looks at me with eyes
that look right past me
I am not there
he hears lies
from the evil one
who whispers to him
though I try to speak louder
and tell him
we have been here before
and ... God has a plan
wait on Him
It will be good
but he only sees past me
to some dark place
I do not want to go

and then
I remember

while I was yet stuck in the mire
while I was yet unlovely
and clothed in dirty rags

my dear Christ
pulled me out
and set my feet on
firm ground
He washed me
soothed my wounds
wrapped them
in the balm of Gilead
He healed
all these wounds
the ones
that take our hope away 
that leave us gazing
without a vision

my kinsman Redeemer
spoke words of hope to me

He looked at me
not through me

told me
I was

I was not very lovely
cloaked in my own robes
those of my own making
of sin's design
yet it was here
that Christ came to me
and desired me

What he saw I do not know
but suddenly I see my man differently
I see all that God wants him to be
when wrapped in His love

he doesn't change
but wrapped in God's love
he just looks different
I see who he really is
and somehow
I desire him

Our eyes need a God fix occasionally
that we would always see
how love's embrace
can set us free

I am so glad that
God sees things so differently
and teaches us
to see

my favourite things

my dear friend Dawn Blanchard shared this with me and it confirms what God showed my heart.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

my favourite things/ this fine snow hanging

wedding lace
draped down
this fine snow hanging

shaped over the eaves
like a maiden

as a bride
her gown
in His righteousness
in His love

The midnight hour
brought this celebration
Aurora Borealis
the glory soft faded
humble in the Eastern sky
then awakened into the night
stretched high
a thousand green skylights
searching the stars
for the One
brighter than
any other
the One fit for the bride
as she waits
soft in the light
of the moon
her countenance
warm glowing

is lovely

think on these things

this fine snow hanging

my favourite things