bamboozled by the goats

bamboozled
boozled

by the goats

I told Eduardo
drive safely 
as he headed off to teach 35 km away in the city

He shouted back up the stairs
don't be bamboozled by the goats

so I googled it

bamboozled:
to deceive by underhanded methods
dupe
hoodwink
to throw off thoroughly
or completely

boozled:
to be in extreme shock or surprise

It is true
Ntomi
bamboozled me
I was totally boozled

I stood at their door 
grain bucket in hand for Chamela

she is older
I called her
but she was slow
she didn't want to be 
bamboozled either so she just stood there 

in flew Ntomi
mature and aiming for the status
of Queen goat
She ran right into me
through me
over me
caught me off guard
innocently holding a grain bucket at their door to freedom and twelve more filled grain buckets

I grabbed her with my free hand
held on as I was knocked backwards
I wouldn't let go
but in this "I want to be Queen world"
she pushed harder 
down I went

I still wouldn't let go

by now nineteen other goats decided that this door to freedom was theirs also

I was still holding on

after being slaughtered at the gate/door
nineteen heavy sharp footed beasts
having run over my splayed body
(I am still holding on to Ntomi)
I got up

chased them all back in 

no small feat

I held my thumping breast 
which hurt dramatically
my first thought
a heart attack
as I stood there 
dusty
but strong
clutching
my chest

no
just ribs
I am sure two broken

it has been a full week
and I can breath bigger
a little
I can laugh more
sort of
and as I smile 
I believe I will live
after being bamboozled
by my goats

so here I am
a gloriously sunshiny day
off to hopefully not
be bamboozled
by my goats 
again 

a new day

no bamboozling
said Eduardo
I smile

my favourite things

 
                                                                                                        our Sihle ... just kidding around 
                                                                                                          our favourite things
                                                                                                         

I just wonder

 

~ I do wonder how much time we have left on this earth. I do not worry about it, I just wonder.

these are the words
of my dear Dawn
a friend I have never seen
or met in person

but I know she is there

funny thing this thing called belief

I believe she is there
but I cannot see her

I have seen photos
I have followed her blog
we have shared on Facebook
we have emailed each other
we have sent cards and gifts in the mail to each other
even her husband is my friend
I have messaged their son Harry
and their daughter Joyce
I have prayed for each of them when they were down
or sick
I have laughed with them when they have dog parties
and I am amazed how that on their part of the world they live on a street
much like the one I have walked down on my side of the world
we have had wind and snow on the same days
we do crafts and ride bicycles
our husbands are servants in church
here and there
I have wept when their pastor friend passed of covid
and when Dawn lost her mother and then her sister
I wept and prayed
I was shaken when their daughter came down with covid
then Russ
and Dawn
I was more shaken when Joyce healed
but they didn't

and then they did
Joyce tending to their needs
I was shaken again
to hear Dawn was only skin on bone
that covid had wrought damage
to her digestive system

shaken to prayer
shaken to believe
shaken to remember my love for these people I have never seen
but that I keep dear in my heart

we are all praying now
so many holding them up to the throne of Grace
sweet Jesus
where mercy is and help in time of need

Today a good report came
Russ shared:
She has seemed to be much better today.
yesterday she wrote me
I do wonder how much time we have left on this earth. I do not worry about it, I just wonder.

I know she is here

just as I know God is here

I am blessed to have seen God 
been in His presence

twice I spoke so plainly with Him
Face to face

when one is dying we see Him plainly
our vision is on the heavenly
I was twelve and dying
He came for me
The Host of Heaven all bright
The Father brighter
He said I could come
or stay
I saw my dad's eyes full of fear and pain
to lose his daughter

and I said to God
I will stay
HE smiled and the Host and the Brightness faded
But I saw them come and go
and I knew
they were still there
and that dying was not sad but joyous for the one leaving

staying was for my dad and it did not make me sad to stay for him

all that glory and the rapturous joy 
would wait

I know Dawn will find this same joy 
on the day she leaves this world behind
but I feel Russ is like my dad
and he needs her presence here still
we all do
She is light and brightness to so many

after God said I could go
or stay
I fell back to sleep
and my fever left me

I woke refreshed
my people rejoiced
my dad smiled big

some have never seen God yet believe
God says 'more' blessed are they who have 'not' seen Him
yet believe

fear not 
Jesus said
I have overcome the world

Dawn is somewhat better today
I pray for tomorrow
and the next tomorrow 
and the next and on and on
until Dawn knows it is okay

because there are all sorts of her family
and friends
and us
who still need the light that she is to us
Russ needs her

Father dear Abba Father
you breathe life into all of us
thank you for healing and life
that you breathe anew each day
in our friend Dawn

we truly thank You
You our Creator God
our Redeemer God
ever with us

I wonder at Your Wonder

my favourite things

Our world keeps changing but He doesn't

our world keeps changing
one day all is well
we wake and all resembles 
the things we always love

the sun coming through soft on my beloved's face
as we wake to the early dawn
the breeze wooing softly through the poplars
all seasons with their own song of praise
branches raised, leaves flitting
or falling or
snow covered and muted
the birds varied through the seasons
singing along
the Winter chickadees
their Spring song
the song of geese returning
the trill of the robins
the owl's night call
the ravens at play
through the day
the junco's twitting
the songs we love
children's
laughter

each day

but then something changes
to some
the one you wake up to is no longer at your side
their children weep
the little birds in your cage
take their last flight
and the years or days of their song
is played over and over in your mind
and though your heart remembers
your heart also aches to hold and see
and touch... to hear afresh the day's 'new' song
to smell the familiarity
that melts away
like the Spring snow

cat Kali
knows
she sits stretched out on my legs
taking in my sweet 'love you Kali' words
then she is up and walks over to the cage
she also misses
the familiarity
that breathed into all our days
its sweetness

now silence

the sun is filtering through the poplars
casting dancing shadows on the logs
the van is stuck in the Spring mud
the goat kids are calling
the rooster crows
my little quail is waiting for my hike down the hill
to start my day
so he can call out
hello and set my heart to dancing...

I need to remember to breathe 

sometimes it hurts to breathe
but the geese are still singing their Spring song
coming home to raise families
they need my raised voice to theirs
welcoming them back
telling them to be safe 
and have lots of kids.... with wings
 
praying we would all be strong enough 
to take flight 
each day
to find the miracles still left to us
to find the grace to heal
to let joy embrace us

it is not bad this last flight stuff
if only we could see where they fly

and remember to believe that He still holds them
and us
that though our world keeps changing

He still sees every bird that falls
He sees the father that left his family too early
He sees the young ones who can hardly cope
He says to them
just
b.r.e.a.t.h.e.

and He breathes His life back into ours

He gives us 
hope 
and faith
and love
enough to go on

new and afresh each day

when our world keeps changing

He doesn't

my favourite things

my favourite things/ eggs and a little girl

eggs
and a little girl

they go together 
you know
like peas in a pod
ladybugs on a log
waffles
whipping cream
and maple syrup

I have two little Bobbi's
from my egg girl

they fill Bobbi's cage with song again
two parrotlets

Blue and Gas

my little egg girl
said my heart was too sad
after losing 
Bobbi

so we played with Bobbi eggs
and incubated them
candled them
hid them 

and found them again
and listened to the new bird songs

It was a real Easter
the eggs and birds were the treasures of new life

like
Jesus

a little girl
with a heart
filled with love

It is what Jesus gave

eggs and a little girl
Jesus
new life

my favourite things