I just wonder

 

~ I do wonder how much time we have left on this earth. I do not worry about it, I just wonder.

these are the words
of my dear Dawn
a friend I have never seen
or met in person

but I know she is there

funny thing this thing called belief

I believe she is there
but I cannot see her

I have seen photos
I have followed her blog
we have shared on Facebook
we have emailed each other
we have sent cards and gifts in the mail to each other
even her husband is my friend
I have messaged their son Harry
and their daughter Joyce
I have prayed for each of them when they were down
or sick
I have laughed with them when they have dog parties
and I am amazed how that on their part of the world they live on a street
much like the one I have walked down on my side of the world
we have had wind and snow on the same days
we do crafts and ride bicycles
our husbands are servants in church
here and there
I have wept when their pastor friend passed of covid
and when Dawn lost her mother and then her sister
I wept and prayed
I was shaken when their daughter came down with covid
then Russ
and Dawn
I was more shaken when Joyce healed
but they didn't

and then they did
Joyce tending to their needs
I was shaken again
to hear Dawn was only skin on bone
that covid had wrought damage
to her digestive system

shaken to prayer
shaken to believe
shaken to remember my love for these people I have never seen
but that I keep dear in my heart

we are all praying now
so many holding them up to the throne of Grace
sweet Jesus
where mercy is and help in time of need

Today a good report came
Russ shared:
She has seemed to be much better today.
yesterday she wrote me
I do wonder how much time we have left on this earth. I do not worry about it, I just wonder.

I know she is here

just as I know God is here

I am blessed to have seen God 
been in His presence

twice I spoke so plainly with Him
Face to face

when one is dying we see Him plainly
our vision is on the heavenly
I was twelve and dying
He came for me
The Host of Heaven all bright
The Father brighter
He said I could come
or stay
I saw my dad's eyes full of fear and pain
to lose his daughter

and I said to God
I will stay
HE smiled and the Host and the Brightness faded
But I saw them come and go
and I knew
they were still there
and that dying was not sad but joyous for the one leaving

staying was for my dad and it did not make me sad to stay for him

all that glory and the rapturous joy 
would wait

I know Dawn will find this same joy 
on the day she leaves this world behind
but I feel Russ is like my dad
and he needs her presence here still
we all do
She is light and brightness to so many

after God said I could go
or stay
I fell back to sleep
and my fever left me

I woke refreshed
my people rejoiced
my dad smiled big

some have never seen God yet believe
God says 'more' blessed are they who have 'not' seen Him
yet believe

fear not 
Jesus said
I have overcome the world

Dawn is somewhat better today
I pray for tomorrow
and the next tomorrow 
and the next and on and on
until Dawn knows it is okay

because there are all sorts of her family
and friends
and us
who still need the light that she is to us
Russ needs her

Father dear Abba Father
you breathe life into all of us
thank you for healing and life
that you breathe anew each day
in our friend Dawn

we truly thank You
You our Creator God
our Redeemer God
ever with us

I wonder at Your Wonder

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