I did not desire him
he preferred to be alone
wallow in the mire of depression
sink deep in his own thoughts
think how he could pay back
he would find their evil
expose it
In this mood
I did not desire him
I tried
I offered encouragement
God was bigger
would find a way
would bring us through
He always has
He always will
I tried to wrap my arms around him
I tried to find his thoughts
I tried to find some soft spot
where he would give in
and smile
notice me
notice
I loved him
notice that he was not alone
that we go through this together
maybe he could even notice
I too might be sinking
he looks at me with eyes
that look right past me
I am not there
he hears lies
from the evil one
who whispers to him
though I try to speak louder
and tell him
remember
we have been here before
and ... God has a plan
wait on Him
It will be good
but he only sees past me
to some dark place
I do not want to go
and then
I remember
while I was yet stuck in the mire
sinking
while I was yet unlovely
and clothed in dirty rags
my dear Christ
pulled me out
and set my feet on
firm ground
He washed me
soothed my wounds
wrapped them
in the balm of Gilead
He healed
all these wounds
the ones
that take our hope away
that leave us gazing
without a vision
my kinsman Redeemer
spoke words of hope to me
He looked at me
not through me
told me
I was
beloved
I was not very lovely
cloaked in my own robes
those of my own making
of sin's design
yet it was here
that Christ came to me
and desired me
What he saw I do not know
but suddenly I see my man differently
I see all that God wants him to be
when wrapped in His love
he doesn't change
but wrapped in God's love
he just looks different
I see who he really is
and somehow
I desire him
again
Our eyes need a God fix occasionally
that we would always see
how love's embrace
can set us free
I am so glad that
God sees things so differently
and teaches us
to see
my favourite things
---------------------------
my dear friend Dawn Blanchard shared this with me and it confirms what God showed my heart.
http://youtu.be/F4DK7arkztw
Oh, I sense God's love at work in you in an amazing way! I am deeply moved and reminded to keep loving and reaching and seeing through God's eyes. Thank you for sharing your heart - and the beautiful gift of words that He has given you.
ReplyDeletemay we always keep on loving... thank you friend
DeleteDear Susan,
ReplyDeleteI needed this post. I know this thief, depression, and what it can do to those we love. I do not know how it feels having my own self stolen, but I know how I feel when it steals from those I love. It robs them of their happiness, their sense of worth and their confidence in their abilities.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12 I'm ready to wrestle.
Hugging you real tight for the Lord speaking through you and for you being obedient to write it down,
Dawn
the thief comes to steal and destroy... God comes so differently.
DeleteHis enduring love takes my breath away.
Well said, humbly put. Thank you for sharing this.
ReplyDeletea hard one... to see those we love so hurt
DeleteBeautiful...astounding.
ReplyDeleteI am more than 8 years late to this post. Can you see my comment? 😊