Monday, March 26, 2012

my favourite things/ Lord I run to you again and again

I wait
for the evening to fall
for everyone to sleep
then I venture out
one last time

It is easier before supper
in the brightness of the afternoon glow
the air still warm from the Spring sun
the snow soft underfoot
the day still sparkling
in all its splendor

but I wait
and in my last bit of weariness
before I can resist sleep no longer
I head out

seven huge pails of water
one of soaked beet pulp and dairy ration
stretched on the long toboggan
and because it is Spring's slipperiness
I dangle myself at the back
holding fast
pulled down by the steep and icy hill
steering with my feet
like a rudder
behind me

I've watched all 6'8" of Jedaiah do this
winter after winter
it works well

no crashes at high speed into frozen snow banks
no spilling of domino buckets
except maybe two or three times a season
by me

I'm not as clever as my son
who jumps off at just the right time
but even that I am mastering

This is my entrance into

The Holy of holies

there are no distractions
as I commune here

as His heavens declare His majesty
I am filled with awe
and laid empty before
my Maker
My Abba Father
I find Him easiest here
though always
'He Is"

It has been three nights
since this outburst of glory
this game we play

I keep wanting to share it

too much glory to hold in

The sky had a hint of deep red
as I slid down the hill to my chores
no crashing
a perfect landing
a look around to see His majesty enthroned
a Heaven astounding in its brilliance
dark but star studded... again

how I love His presence

even in the darkness of the night
He has taught me to trust Him here
my old fears allayed
my heart thrust open
my eyes lifted
my breath deep and free
total peace
and rest
in Him

I am no longer tired

my swing was busy this night

as I again sat swaying in the loft

hay and water all given
grain devoured

I swing
watching the goat herd
fat with young
about to burst forth
the dogs doing their night watch
the feathered ones quiet
the horses' munching of hay
steady in the night air
a soft rumble against the coyote
howls of the night
like the


The sky is simple in its brilliance this night
if all this beauty can ever be said to be simple

I spotted no falling stars
like the night before
the red was deep and mixed
with darkness

all the creatures tucked in for the night
I was almost home

all the way I had searched
for Aurora Borealis
but the sky was silent of its dancing colours
it lay sleeping and calm

I was half way up my hill
the toboggan of empty buckets
scraping the silence away

I know my Redeemer liveth
and this is a game we often play together
in the small hours of the night
when others do sleep and dream
as I near home

when He asks me...

I turn around

knowing all had been only star studded darkness
but knowing that in this game
God only asks me to trust Him...

I turned...

His gift was there for me

Green streaks stretched high and wide in the sky
Brilliance and Busyness !
the horizon dancing with this glory
where a moment earlier
it lay sleeping

and I laughed
from a deep spot in my heart
that believes God...
that wonders at how
He can play this game
over and over with me
and like a young child
I am always delighted
clasping my hands
and rejoicing

it is in the knowing...
it would be there

This is our game

for this
I wait
for the night

for this I turn
when I near home

after all the glory
of this game we endlessly play

I know nothing is impossible

with Him

we talk and laugh and shout together with joy
I lay silent before Him
then we shout joyously together again
the night a chorus before us
the colours sing out like a song
He hears "all" of my heart
and I feel I understand His
I stand humbled before Him
at His faithfulness
His tender mercies
this lavished grace
this miracle time of refreshment
my praises lifted
and thanksgiving
my burdens laid down
my beloveds lifted
the hard things given up

I take a deep breath
I hold it

and then it is gone
the night sleeps on

but His joy rests within me

I slide beside my beloved
covers pulled up around us
his soft sleeping breaths comfort about me
I close my eyes
and  know
there is One who watches over us

He cares for us

He always is

Even in the morning
when the night glory has been lifted
when a deep blue reaches out to the heavens
All that glory is still there
though I can't see it dancing the same
He still is
all around me

I just know He is
His dance in my heart
and His song
still with me

whether it be bright daylight
or overcast night

I will always run to You
again and again

my favourite things


  1. So moving your writing is, Susan. Your words are simple, a telling of your days, your nights . . . yet they are like spun gold, weaving a glorious testimony of an intimate God who walks and talks and yes, plays with us.

    1. imagine heaven, Andrea Dawn... seeing Him face to face...O the laughter and the praise

  2. "bright daylight or overcast night" . . . He is there! Beautiful, Susan. Just beautiful.

  3. Beautiful words, Susan.. I can 'feel' your joy in your writings. Keeping God at the center of our lives is truly JOY.

  4. Whew! Blown away.
    What a beautiful picture you paint. I am there with you crunching in the snow toward home. Stopping ... turning ... expecting and yet, knowing. He delights in our joy. He is with us always. We love forever after.

  5. You took us there with you, sweet Susan . . .and you took us to Him too. I just love that you write and the way you write and what you write. It is soaked in Jesus. Just drips from the page into my heart. Thank you so much!!! - deb

  6. Your words just flow and blend together so beautifully. :)

  7. I read this and then imagine, "Wow, think of what heaven will be like!"

  8. Dear Susan,

    How am I not getting notifications that you are posting. I missed this which you posted LAST week. Oh, and what a miss. This is so glorious. I know of this "waiting" for everyone to be asleep. I am not in the country under the aurora borealis, but I love my neighborhood at night (even withIN my house). I sit alone in the quiet. I wonder what it would be like to toboggan a load of water pails on slippery paths and swing in a barn loft, but your prose takes me there and I feel a part of your nightly "game". Lord bless you, Susan.

    The line "I will always run to you again and again made me think of Whitney Houston's movie The Bodyguard where she sang the song "I Wanna Run to You". Jesus, my bodyguard, hmmm...

    Have fun tonight,

  9. even in the darkness of the night
    He has taught me to trust Him here

    love this mike.

  10. I am so glad you "all" came by for a visit. It means a lot to me that others might taste a bit of the beauty I see. This weekend was so special to me. I had opportunity to sing alto with a very wonderful choir for two Easter services accompanied my an amazing orchestra; So very many wonderful songs to our Risen Lord! One of my most soul wrenching was... Lord, I Run to You; words and music by Tommy Walker. At a time when so many around me are suffering with loss all I can say is Lord we run to you ... no one else will do.
    These evening sky splendors are a time of wonderful refreshment in the Lord... I give Him such thanks for His marvelous gifts to us.

    Lord, I run to You
    No one else will do
    Lord, in troubled times
    I will run straight to you
    Though my heart and flesh may fail
    You're my ever present help
    my tower of strength
    my portion evermore
    Lord I run to you
    no one else will do
    Lord You said we'd face
    trouble, pain, and fear
    but to be of good cheer
    for You have overcome the world

    I lift my eyes up
    to the mountains
    where does my help come from?
    it comes from You Lord
    You are the Maker
    of earth and heaven
    and there is nothing that's too hard for You

    Lord, I run to You
    Lord, we run to You

  11. God delights to play with us! What a moving post. Thank you for taking us there - I can see the lights dancing in the sky in my memory and through your words.

  12. All I can say is, WOW!!!! This left my heart with such a peaceful awe ---- just as that nighttime beauty does. I know that place well. I remember during those chemo nights when the steroids kept my heart pounding and my eyes wide open, I would sneak out under the midnight sky and slowly walk back and forth ---- 37 steps down the sidewalk -- 37 back. But in those steps, I learned to trust my God in the darkest of nights. And I have found that, once we can trust Him in those times, we can trust Him through anything. I so loved this. I just can't tell you how many times I've had to run back to Him. Thank you!!!!

  13. Lorrie and Cora... I love that you danced with me here! And Cora, you have inspired me to count my steps ...I'm guessing about 300 :)

  14. Susan, your words cascade like a river of water from huge icicle in the heat of the midday sun – see, you even make me poetic. This whole thing just dripped, and dripped, and dripped inspiration from God.

    And this made me stop in my tracks and agree with all my heart, "even in the darkness of the night He has taught me to trust Him here." Thank you for this. God bless you my friend, as we both run home to Him, always to Him.

    1. Craig, I know your nights can be long often with no sleep so I understand you running to Him even in the darkness...He is ever faithful to be there for us!

  15. This is so beautiful! Thank you.